Fragile heart

Its not the first time and I know it wouldn't be the last time
I've been telling myself not to expect too much
but I failed!

I keep expecting and I hurt myself
I let myself to fill in so much sorrow
and I don't know how to express them and free them

It wasn't easy
I hate learning it because I always hope things will come out
as my expectation
I wish my things will be beautifully crafted
so as my life

I just wanted to feel belong and loved at all times
I don't know it's greedy or not
Petty things to major things mean to me
but I guess you forgot sometimes
or you think its not important
Tell me and I'll let you know whether they are important

my life here started with unpleasant feelings
which I hope to run away from
Things didn't get very well the second day
it keeps me wondering
when will my good days come?

Boredom and loneliness
are my best friends now
which is pathetic
since when my life become like this?

3days
where I wish to spend with you badly
since the long seperation during CNY
but my expectation hurts me again
there's no best way to solve
one of us has to sacrifice

It's not the matter whether I'm willing to sacrifice
I sacrificed few times and I found it not worthy
Things didn't work out as I wanted
and I blamed myself for that

I really hope there's someone here
can keep me accompany
I hate myself now
for expecting too much
for being a fool
for being such naive

I never wanted to make things even complicated
I just wanted a simple and blissful life
with you
with my loved one

Is it something to much to ask?